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Black Book of Connections: Rejection Sucks; Deal with It

“Rejection is a part of life. The crappy part.”

The Little Black Book of Connections by Jeffrey Gitomer, page 43

In my book titled Become The Exception, I devote an entire chapter to the notion of “rejection.” Rather than try to reinvent the wheel, I will cut to the chase in an attempt to have you thinking straight sooner rather than later.

Many sales courses will tell you to keep a stiff upper lip when you are rejected and don’t let it get you down. But once you accept the proposition that you have been rejected, you have given up the psychological high ground and put your self-esteem into retreat. Simply put, you need to reject the notion of rejection.

Click on the book to grab your own copy of "The Little Black Book of Connections"

Click on the book to grab your own copy of “The Little Black Book of Connections”

Once you understand that all you are trying to do as a salesperson is help people, every outcome should be the same. If prospects don’t want your help or choose not to deal with you for whatever reason they conjure up in their minds, it is not your problem.

Whether prospects accept your services or not should be no more important to your self-esteem than whether a lady allows you to open her car door for her. The average salesperson can’t seem to come to terms with this. They let prospects alter their emotions, personality, and feelings toward life. This makes little sense.

  • Can I help you cross the street? Yes or no?
  • Can I hold the door for you? Yes or no?
  • Can I help you with your next buying decision? Yes or no?
  • Would you like me to get you a warm cup of coffee? Yes or no?
  • Can I help you decide on which computer system is best for your growing business? Yes or no?

Regardless of the response, you are the same person, with the same amount of product knowledge, experience, and competence and with the same objective, i.e. to feed your family on a regular basis by finding people you can help.

Don’t tell me it is more complicated than this… because I am not buying it. After thirty years in the selling business, it finally dawned on me that the people who decided to do business with me simply said “Yes,” while the others simply said “No,” (or in many cases, “Not yet.”)

If you stop linking, (no matter how subtly,) your sense of self-worth and accomplishment to a prospect’s response, then selling ceases to be hard work and becomes a game. (Digging holes on a Scottsdale, Arizona highway in the mid-afternoon sun with a pick-axe on a 105-degree day in August — that’s hard work.)

Note: Helping people, regardless of the temperature or geographic location, is fun.


Mike presents a business-building webinar on the third Thursday of every month sponsored by AmaWaterways. To receive monthly invitations send Mike an email with the words “business training” in the Subject Box. You will also receive a link to the recorded version.

For information on Mike’s Fourth Annual Training Cruise, email Mike at mike@mikemarchev.com with the word “cruise” in the subject box.

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