10 Nonverbal Tips Designed to Improve Relationships: No. 2

Posted on by in Mike's Morning Missives

This is Tip #2 in a series of 10 relationship building reminders.

Maintain eye contact.

This non-verbal behavioral tip happens to be one of my pet peeves. It sounds so obviously simple, and virtually everybody feels that they are good at it. News Flash! They are not. In fact, most people are very poor at it, including you.

There is an old golf teaching reminder that states, what you feel is not necessarily what is real. Using golf as an example, the amateur golfer thinks they are swinging the club in a slow, rhythmic, well-positioned and consistent fashion. It usually takes a video replay to show the student that their swing is anything but exemplary. The video will always show you the error of your ways.

In business, looking people in the eye is of paramount importance, yet, it is a rarely exercised skill. I don’t expect you to take my word for this since you are probably already positioning yourself as the exception. Chances are, you are not.

You might not seal the deal by looking people in the eye, but you will appear more confident once you physically indicate that you are interested in who you are speaking with. There is no better way at accomplishing this than to look at the people you are speaking with.

Of particular interest is the fact that the lack of eye contact, or eye-darting, portrays an absence of confidence and it is a strong visual cue that results in a lack of trust.

No eye contact, no trust. No trust, no business.

The question I ask myself regularly is why do so many people find it difficult to look others in the eye? You are a good, honest, hard-working and caring person. Why in the world would you purposely lead others to question your sincerity? This is just as painful as shooting yourself in the foot, something I bet you would not choose to do, given another option.

Looking people in the eye is your other option.

Believe me when I tell you, more good things will result from this essential, non-verbal behavior.


Mike’s daily column is sponsored by AmaWaterways. For information on his 6-Week Online Selling Course, email Mike at mike@mikemarchev.com with the words “sales course” in the subject box.

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Mike MarchevMike presents a business-building webinar on the third Thursday of every month sponsored by AmaWaterways. To receive a complimentary invitation send Mike an email with the phrase “AmaWaterways” in the Subject Box. You will also receive a link to the recorded version.

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