This just in….Cruise Line Private Island Disappears – Swedes Suspected!
Brand X Cruise Line’s new multi-million dollar private island development was recently mistaken for a floating island of waste plastic by agents of the Electrolux Corporation. Commensurate with Electrolux’s recycling policy and their new “Vac from the Sea” initiative – the entire island was inadvertently sucked up. The plastic was extracted, reprocessed and turned into new vacuum cleaners – and resold to the cruise line for shipboard use. (Oh, the irony!)
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You think I’m making this up? You think that TRO has finally gone tabloid? Well then check out these two articles…ripped straight from today’s headlines –
Electrolux to Make Vacuums from Plastic Ocean Trash
Electrolux, the world’s second largest home appliance maker, said from their headquarters in Sweden on Tuesday it will harvest bits of plastic floating garbage islands in the Pacific, Atlantic and Indian Oceans, as well as from three European seas and use the material to manufacture and showcase new vacuum cleaners. (read full article)
Cruise Lines Upgrade Private Island Retreats
Major cruise lines are in various stages of improving their private island retreats — from just starting out to already finished. New additions range from private cabanas to exhilarating new rides and water play areas, as well as expanded beach areas. (read full article)
Ok…so my conclusion is made up…but it is based on fact.
It does not take a rocket surgeon to see that the potential for this kind of catastrophe looms large. You think the Gulf Oil Spill was a disaster? You think Nuclear Proliferation is a threat? You just wait!
(If only Electrolux could target floating oil instead of floating plastic!)
Unlike our representatives in Washington, we here at TRO we are not afraid to address the really tough questions. Our pockets are not lined with money from cruise line and vacuum cleaner lobbyists…(although we are open to suggestions).
There could easily be another disaster on the scale of the Titanic, the Hindenburg or Liver-On-A-Stick…just waiting to happen. It is only a matter of time until one of these huge, uber-developed Private Islands breaks loose from its moorings and floats right into the waiting maws of an overly zealous Eco-Freak company like Electrolux. Do you want YOUR clients playing on that Giant Island Waterslide when the Great Mega-Suck goes down? I thought not.
I hope by now the message is coming through load and clear. We are here for YOU!…attempting to save civilization as we know it.