I can hear many of you now, “It has taken a number of daily messages, but Marchev has finally lost his mind.” Not so fast! I still have plenty of mind left. Today’s headline says exactly what I want it to say.
I recently received a letter from a person who asked me to give her written document the old once over. If I have learned anything since leaving The University of Massachusetts, it is that editing the written word is more important than you might think at first.
When the writer is not a professional writer, there is a dyed-in-the-wool tendency to wax eloquent about oneself at the expense of making a living selling something.
The truth of the matter was, is, and always will be that people are more concerned about themselves than they are about others. If you want to lose their attention in a New York minute, direct the conversation toward yourself (I, me, we, us). But if you have any interest at all keeping their attention, try talking about them (you, you, you).
Such was the case in my example, and I am hoping you can go-to-school on my findings.
The memo consisted of only 10 lines of print yet had the word “we” was written no fewer than 11 times. As a matter of fact, each of the four paragraphs began with the word “we.” Don’t laugh. This practice is more prevalent than you might think.
My suggestion at the time (no, make that my strong recommendation) was to flip each sentence around using the word “you” to replace the word “we.”
This may call for a second cup of coffee and a little bit of word-smithing, but it will be worth it to you in the end.
Here is a simple example, but it will provide enough food for thought for you to begin editing your own future sales pieces.
Common: We have been in business for nearly forty years and we have visited 12 countries.
Better: You will benefit from the many years we have been in the travel business honing our on-site knowledge base.
You now have the idea. Run with it moving forward.
Mike Marchev is recognized for his down-to-earth, street-savvy and honest delivery of useful sales and marketing advice, suggestions, tactics and strategies. For a complimentary copy of his Special Report titled: 11 Sales Mistakes You Must Avoid send Mike an email with the word TRO-11 in the Subject Box. email@example.com
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