Getting along with people should not be as hard as it sometimes feels. I realize the world is spinning faster and faster, and that people have become frazzled with lots on their plate and not enough to get it all done.
But, let’s step back today and give some thought to some very fundamental aspects of initiating meaningful relationships.
Here are ten “reminders” worth a little focus. People need…
- To Feel Welcome: Who doesn’t enjoy the feeling that their presence is appreciated? I know I do. There is nothing as cold and unnerving as the feeling that you are not welcome in a particular environment. This is easy to address. Make others feel welcome, and they will reward you for doing so… in time. Stand to greet them. Walk them to the door when they are leaving. Smile when talking to them.
- To Feel Comfortable: This goes hand-in-hand with feeling welcome. When one is unfamiliar with their environment, there is a tendency to feel uncomfortable. Go out of your way to make strangers, guests, and visitors feel as comfortable as best you can. Some will take longer to warm up than others. All you can do is all you can do. My style is to act as if my guests are a part of the furniture. That is not to say I take them for granted. I don’t. I treat them as if they already belong. I don’t fuss over them. This happens to work for me. Mi Casa… You Casa (I think…) or something like that.
- To Be Understood: Nothing is more frustrating than to “state your case,” or offer your opinion, and have others misinterpret your meaning or miss your message altogether. You don’t necessarily have to endorse my side of the story, but at the very least, I would like you to try to understand what it is I am saying.
- To Feel Important: Everybody is a “big shot” in their own mind, or at least in their own little cozy environment. Upon leaving the “safety” of one’s known environment, the picture changes and is often quite unnerving. Make others feel important in your presence and this small courtesy will serve you well. The easiest and fastest way to deliver this message is to “listen” to what others have to say – AFTER asking them some pertinent questions. Get them talking, listen intently, and they will feel important.
- To Be Recognized: Being a “somebody” is just natural, and the way it should be. In such a crowded indifferent world, this is often overlooked in the name of “hectic pace.” Slow down. Remember people’s names. Focus on who you are talking to. Call people by their names. Recognize those who have voluntarily entered your world. People like to be recognized. The once popular TV series, featuring a bar sang, it best in their theme song: “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.”
- To Receive Timely Service: If I am as important as I like to think I am, then it is only natural for you to want to serve me in a timely fashion. After all, I am a very busy person. If you want my attention for years to come, supply me with the timely service I feel I deserve.
- To Receive Orderly Service: If you don’t know what you are doing, go learn what you are paid to do. Don’t waste my time as you wander through your learning curve. I am in a hurry in most cases. Please do your homework prior to my entrance, so you don’t waste my time. It is your business. You should know what you are doing.
- To Be Helped: I don’t know how to make this any clearer. When in trouble, people like to be helped. When in need, people like to be helped. When faced with a snag, situation, or negative occurrence, people like to be helped. Who better than you? Help them.
- To Feel Appreciated: Look! There are only 1,000 other places I could spend my time and my money. I chose you. The least you can do is recognize that I have options and show a little appreciation for my decision to spend my time with you. Get it? People do not like to be taken for granted. Nobody likes to be taken for granted. Show appreciation… regularly and sincerely.
- To Feel Respected: Once again, I am at a loss for words on #10. People like to feel respected. This kind of sums up the entire Want List. I try to show respect by addressing people as Mr. and Mrs. until they give me permission or direction to use their first name. People usually don’t need to be cow-towed to after they are shown that they have earned your respect.
Notice in each of the ten “wants” listed above that the words “be,” “feel”, and “receive” took center stage.
People like To Be… To Feel… To Receive. Give it to them.
Mike Marchev is recognized for his down-to-earth, street-savvy and honest delivery of useful sales and marketing advice, suggestions, tactics and strategies. For a complimentary copy of his Special Report titled: 11 Sales Mistakes You Must Avoid send Mike an email with the word TRO-11 in the Subject Box. firstname.lastname@example.org