The travel industry was stunned this week when – for the first time in ten years – 48 hours passed without the launch of a single new online travel application.
Critics, travel writers and technology reviewers alike scanned the media in a panic, checking their iPhones, Androids and Blackberries, glancing nervously at their news feeds every few minutes.
Industry reaction was swift and loud –
“Feels like a TSA pat down with a hangnail.” – Hookin Standit of Hurt & Payne Tours
“This is a disaster…right up there with the elimination of airline commissions and Vicky Freed jumping ship.” – Thelma Washin-Dry, President of Retail Operators From Laundromats (ROFL)
“Business was red hot until this happened!” – MyAshie Burns – inventor of the asbestos kayak and owner of Hot Lava Rafting Tours of Hawaii.
“Six to one it doesn’t last.” – Hugh Betcha, Greeter – Minnesota Tribal Casinos
Many ancillary businesses impacted –
The Annoyingly-Clever-Domain-Names Department of GoDaddy began handing out pink slips.
Dr. Getta Gripp – popular TV psychotherapist – devoted an entire hour-long program to counseling grief stricken reviewers and app addicts.
End-of-week pressure built to the point that Celebrity’s Dondra Ritzenthaller pledged to change her name to ‘Jane Smith’ if anyone would just come out with SOMETHING.
Relief in sight – eight new apps launch simultaneously –
- WhaleWatchersOfTheSerengeti.com –”blubber safari fun”
- Fly-Drive-Staycations.com – “pay to stay put”
- Obitz.com – “dying to attend more funerals?”
- Expediocity.com – “when you just have to be there yesterday”
- BackroadsBrewPubs.com – “‘White Lightning’ biking”
- Boretrips.com – “allergic to excitement?”
- FrequentFriarTalk.com – “discussion forum for monks on the move”
- TravelWhoppers.com – “travel blog BS detector”
“Ok! Now back to business as usual!” – Lotta DeLay, Service Rep – Gulp&GoAirways.com
Author’s Note: This bit of whimsy was inspired by two things – the satire of Andy Borowitz (Borowitz Report) and recent ads for the PhoCusWright Travel Innovation Conference.
The travel apps above are imaginary. These from the PhoCusWright conference are not –
…to name just a few.
(Click here if you don’t believe me.)
Got any ideas for a travel app…serious or otherwise? Let’s hear it!