My Interview on Late Night Television | Travel Research Online

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My Interview on Late Night Television

It recently dawned on me that many travel advisors do not have a firm handle on what they do.

Of course, there is planning and researching, booking and the like… but what do you really do?

I asked myself this very same question recently and came up with an answer I could actually identify with. Perhaps my imaginary late-night interview might help you.

If I was ever interviewed on a Late-Night Talk Show, it would unfold something like this:

 

Happy woman relaxing in bed and watching movies on tv late at night, she is eating popcorn

 

Stephen Colbert: “We have a very special guest this evening. He is a motivational speaker by trade who has been asked to speak in 19 countries in a myriad of industries. He is a man of numerous talents who is quick to classify his accomplishments as simply choosing to pursue a circuitous path for the past 74 years.  Please help me welcome Mr. Mike Marchev.”

MM: “Thank you, Mr. Letterman. It is a pleasure to be on your show.”

Stephen Colbert: “Mike, I am Stephen Colbert. David Letterman retired nearly ten years ago.”

MM. “Sorry, Stevo. I must admit I don’t watch much television. Ever since they took Leave It To Beaver off the air, I asked myself, “What’s the point?” Besides, to be honest with you, anything airing after 10 pm has a snowball’s chance in hell for my viewership… if you follow me.”

Stephen Colbert: “Okay, now that we got your sleeping habits straight, let’s dig a little deeper into your story from a 35,000-foot overview before drilling down to specifics.”

MM: “Sounds like a plan. Fire away, Big Guy. You got any water? My wife tells me I need to drink more water.”

Stephen Colbert: “Mike. You have been around the bases a few times according to your bio. What are your current views about life?”

MM: “Great question. You are pretty good at this gig.  You don’t dance around, do you? Right to the heart of the matter.  Johnny Carson would be proud of you.

Life is good. If it wasn’t good there would not be ten million t-shirts advertising that belief day in and day out. Without life, there would be no late-night television. Now that I think about it, there would not be much of anything. Life is directly responsible for a lot of stuff. For example, if it weren’t for life, there would be no PEZ dispensers, no selfie sticks, no M&M Peanuts, no slinkies, and the granddaddy example of them all, no NY Mets Bobble Head Dolls of Mike Piazza.

The problem with life (if there is one), is that each of us has only one. If you are fortunate enough to have one, you’ve got to show up every day. This can become quite boring if you don’t squeeze a little juice into your routine from time to time. My motto is: HEAVY ON THE SQUEEZE.”

To be honest, I have yet to try the alternative. I really don’t have anything concrete to compare life’s absence with. I’m guessing however, that it is pretty quiet, which isn’t too bad in and of itself. And dark. I bet it is dark. Given the choice, based on my 74 years of ups and downs, I am leaning toward life. If you allow it to unfold on its own terms while injecting a little “you” in now and then, life can be pretty cool proposition.

Stephen Colbert: “Maybe 35,000 feet was a bit of a stretch. Let’s get back to terra fuego.”

MM: “Terra Fuego? Isn’t that a taco with onions and refried beans? I love those things. But I can’t eat more than four… if you catch my drift. I ate six once. That was a night I will never forget, and neither will my wife. Speaking of which, it is probably in my best interest to give a shout out to Barbara. ‘Honey. Look at me! I’m on the Jay Leno Show.’”

Stephen Colbert: “Colbert. I’m Stephen Colbert. That’s Stephen with a PH”.

MM: “Ooops!” Sorry PH. In my business, this is known as a MAJOR *^!@ up.

Stepho it is… with a PH.”

Stephen Colbert: “Speaking of business Mike, what exactly do you do?”

MM: “Good question, number two late-night host-man. If my wife Barbara is watching, she just moved her chair closer to the TV along with all my relatives, friends, and neighbors. They have been asking me this very same question for years. No promises, but I will give it a shot.

First, let me ask you a question. ‘How much time do we have for this segment of your show? I do a lot of stuff and this answer could take some time. Do you want to cut to a commercial before I begin?’

Stephen Colbert: “Doggie Chow Nibletts can wait. I am sure my audience is anxious to hear this.”

MM: “I do a lot of things. But let me begin by telling you what I don’t do? I am not a motivational speaker. I am not a comedian. I am not a billionaire, and I don’t speak five languages. I never played on a team that was invited to The White House and there is not a single building on any university campus across America sporting my name on.

What I try to do is make people feel better about themselves by sharing my personal experiences, in an effort to make them laugh more while realizing that maybe (just maybe) they can be more …. and do more with the sand left in their timers. I remind them that lazy, bore, fine, and so-so are four four-letter words that need to be removed from their vocabulary.

 

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Stephen Colbert: “Sand left in their timers? What do you mean by that?”

MM: “Mr. what’s-your-name, I hate it when I have to explain my analogies. Listen up. A sand timer is that little glass gizmo mounted on a 180-degree swivel that has a finite amount of sand running through the narrow neck from one side to the other. It was designed to remind you that your skin is about to shrivel up tighter than a California grape if left on the vine for too long. You spot these things on walls in Saunas located in gymnasiums and on cruise ships.

Which begs the question: Have you ever been to a gym? They are good things. You should go. You are looking a little paunchy around the middle. I’m just saying.”

Stephen Colbert: “Maybe I should have gone to commercial when I had the chance. At the risk of confusing my audience more than they already are, is there anything you would like to leave them with?

MM: “Man, Stephen with a PH, you are good. You just told me it is time to leave without having to say, ‘Adios Amigo.’ As a matter of fact, I do have something worth listening to.

Borrowing from a Tim McGraw country ditty, I would like to share a lyric that reminds us all to ‘live like we are dying.’ Did you know Tim McGraw is the son of the former NY Mets pitcher, Tug McGraw who introduced the phrase, ‘You gotta believe?’

This brings us full circle back to your initial question.

Regardless of the harsh realities we are all facing today, both at home and abroad, we happen to be playing on the only gameboard there is. As long as we are here, we will always have two choices. We can (1) Lament our current circumstances as being our personal hell on earth, or (2) Elect to find the beauty and good in our world while managing to find a reason or two to laugh while our sand continues to trickle out one grain at a time.”

Stephen Colbert: “Mike, I didn’t realize that you had such a deep side to your demeanor.”

MM: “Whoa! You lost me on that last word. I have a guitar. I have a piano. I have a pair of swim goggles. I am not sure about that demeanor thing.”

Stephen Colbert: “Mike, to infer that this was a pleasure having you would be stretching the truth. Let it suffice to say this has been interesting and has taken up airtime at the expense of learning more about the nutritional benefits of feeding Bowser a healthy helping of Doggy Chow.

MM: “Stephen. May I call you Stephen? It has been a hoot. It might have appeared that I dodged your question about my career path, but the truth is I have traveled a road less traveled, and I even confuse myself when confronted by that question.

The Road Less Traveled? I like the sound of that. I think I could write a book with that title.)

Mr. Colbert, you are brilliant—PH or no ph. After 74 years, I just figured it out the answer to your question.

I AM A WRITER.

Outro

So, not unlike yourself, I do a lot of stuff: Speak, train, coach, motivate, stimulate, podcast, blog and more. But what lies behind all of these labels is a single idea. I am a writer. What is your true calling?

 


image of mike marchev

Mike Marchev is always looking for a few more proactive travel professionals to join his Sales and Marketing Club, mike@mikemarchev.com.

*** You want more to think about? Check out my weekly podcast (Miked Up Marchev). Also listed on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google, and iHeartRadio.

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